I Thought the Signs Were Crazy—Until I Asked for One
I’ll be the first to admit it. For a long time, when Danielle my wife would talk about signs from the universe, repeating numbers, or things happening at exactly the right moment, part of me thought she was a little crazy ok a LOT crazy.
She would see 333, 111, 444 everywhere. Receipts. Clocks. Room numbers. Random places that seemed way too specific to keep being a coincidence. And she would always tell me the same thing: Pay attention. At the time, I wasn’t sure I believed any of it.
But then I started seeing 143. Over and over again. And if you know the meaning behind 143, it’s often associated with “I love you” one letter in “I,” four in “love,” three in “you.”
For me, though, it started to mean something even deeper. Coming back to me. Worth. Self-love. Coming back to myself. Which was interesting, because that was exactly what I was struggling with. I Was in the Middle of Trying to Change My Life
I was on a work trip and in the middle of my sober journey alone, And I was trying really fucking hard. Anyone who has ever tried to break an addiction, habit, or pattern knows there are moments when you can genuinely want a different life and still have your mind trying to convince you to go back to the old one. That's exactly was where I was.
I was trying to stay sober. Trying to get my head right. Trying to become someone I wasn't completely sure I knew how to be yet.
So I decided to do something my friend Chuckie Weaver had introduced me to that had been helping me quiet some of the noise. Breathwork. So I sat down, started breathing, and somewhere in that practice I remembered something she had told me. She said:
“If you aren't sure whether the signs are real, ask for one.” So I did, honestly, part of me was testing the whole thing. I basically said: If I'm actually being guided…if there really is something bigger than me trying to get my attention…show me 143 one more time before I get on my plane tomorrow. My flight was around 2 PM. That was my deadline.
One more 143. Then I would believe it. The Next Day, Nothing Happened I went through the next day watching. Nothing. I got to the airport. Still nothing. I went through security.
Nothing. I sat near my gate waiting to board and started thinking exactly what you would expect me to think: Danielle is full of shit. I had asked. I had waited. Nothing happened.
And we were getting close to boarding, I scanned my ticked and started walking down the jet bridge....Then my phone rang. I answered it. There was nothing on the other end except static. No conversation. No person I could make out. Just static. So I hung up feeling a bit disappointed and now annoyed.... I looked down at my phone, the time was:
1:43 PM. One minute. That was all it took. Something Changed in Me, I can't fully explain what happened in that moment. I didn't suddenly have every answer. My problems didn't disappear. Getting sober didn't magically become easy. But something inside of me shifted. Because I had asked for something incredibly specific. And there it was.143.
At the exact moment I had almost decided none of it was real. And for the first time, my belief in something bigger than myself wasn't just an idea someone else had told me about. I felt it. It anchored into my body. There was something bigger happening here.
Call it whatever makes sense to you. I don't think the name matters nearly as much as our willingness to listen. Spirituality Didn't Get Me Sober I want to be clear about something. A sign didn't change my life....I did. I still had to make the decisions. I still had to sit in discomfort. I still had to choose sobriety when part of me wanted the old coping mechanism. I still had to breathe. Move my body and face myself everyday. I had to repair relationships, end some too. I had to build discipline and keep choosing the person I wanted to become. But spirituality gave me something incredibly powerful while I was doing that work. It gave me a reason to believe there might be more happening than what I could currently see. Sometimes when you're rebuilding your life, that little bit of belief is enough to get you through another day. Maybe You're Not Crazy
I know there are people reading this who will think the whole thing was a coincidence.
That's okay. I probably would have been one of them once. But if you've been seeing the same number… Hearing the same message… Having the same thought…
Feeling pulled toward something you can't completely explain…Maybe instead of immediately dismissing it, get quiet enough to listen. You don't have to become spiritual overnight. You don't have to believe what anyone else believes. You don't even have to know exactly what you're talking to......but maybe...Just ask....If there's something I need to know, show me. Then pay attention. Because one of the biggest lessons I've learned through sobriety, breathwork, endurance, and rebuilding my relationship with myself is that transformation isn't always logical. Sometimes you take the step before you have proof. Sometimes you trust before you understand. And sometimes you're sitting in an airport thinking your wife is completely full of shit…and your phone rings at exactly 1:43 PM.
Whatever higher power you believe in or are just beginning to believe might exist I believe this: It wants you to win.....But you still have to choose yourself. You still have to do the work. And sometimes the sign isn't there to save you...... It's there to remind you that you're worth saving yourself.
— Casey Wade
The Wade Way
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